Ciaras Accent Column March 2010 March 2010

March Issue

Hi it's Ciara and if you pronounce it right first time you can take any of the teddy bears from the bottom shelf.

                Hmm...thought so. Nobody ever wins a teddy. It's 'Key-ra' and in Gaelic it means 'woman who was born to shop with the girls and slowly torture a succession of men, with a wide variety of high fashion items'. We're very succinct, we Irish, you know.

                I spend my time singing in my band, trying to figure out if Lady GaGa is a terminator sent to destroy us all and keeping my vocal chords lubricated with occasional applications of Sauvignon blanc. All things in moderation, of course. This principle applies to all my activities, except when excess is in the user manual- shopping, partying streetdance and training my man to sit up and beg for...well...everything.

                I've opened Kiara Boutique in Newcastle and im making it the campaign headquarters to advance the cause of glamour in the North East. Kiara Boutique lets you spoil yourself and feel fabulous; it's that single Marlboro Light you'll enjoy at your sister's wedding or the orange cream stolen from the bottom tray when the top tray is still half full.

                The women of the North East are on the march. We're the new catwalk model army and we're starting the joy revolution. We're provisional fashionistas and this column will be our manifesto for make overs. Together we'll be the poster girls for the next generation. We don't just owe it to ourselves to throw up the barricades against the dreary, we owe it to the next generation of uber babes to show we seize the day and the historians of cool will judge us for all eternity. I know...you're right we'd best get cracking then.

                I've just got back from a buying trip at the Pure show in London. There were crowds of people there but the problem was soon solved; for these occasions pepper spray and a rhino whip are always the first items in my Batman attache belt (diamonte version, natch). I placed an order for a jewellery range so gorgeous that it would have Cleopatra posting her old stuff to Cash for Gold.

                Next stop on the buying tour is Paris when im looking at the new Acne collection. I know it'll be fabulous- the invention advisors that we visit the loo before the collection is revealed!

                Being Irish also means that in March I'll be celebrating St Patricks Day like im recruiting for my own Glee Club. From Baby Lynch to Madame Koo, i'll be dancing the night away until my thoracic duct has dislodged itself and is headed towards the monument for the last taxi home.

                That's the intro. Next issue we get serious about frivolity. I'll be telling you more about tailored shorts and floral clash with stripes. Prepare yourself for a Parisian influence, mes petites mignonnes, and you'll face no resistance.

                My name is Ciara. Join me on the couture campaign trail, sisters, and we'll smear red gloss on the undeserving lips of society.

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